Sexuality & relating

Valentine’s Day blues?

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I thought I’d write this a few days ahead as Valentine’s Day can bring up a lot of emotions for single people. I’ve talked to an increasing number of women who think there’s something wrong with them because they haven’t had a serious relationship in years. Pretty much everyone acknowledges dating culture is toxic, yet women are still so judged for singledom they start to question themselves.

In many cases, their only “problem” is that they have healthy self esteem and healthy boundaries, which are very much at odds with modern dating culture. They are not afraid to ask a guy what he’s looking for, in order to avoid 3 month situationships. They are not interested in being one of multiple women someone is sleeping with, they’ve ditched the cheater, are not giving those who left a second chance, they dumped the guy with the secret girlfriend/ wife and refuse to be their ex’s backup booty call. In short, they have said NO to being exploited.

Who benefits from women having poor boundaries? Toxic men. Casual dating culture is rife with misogyny and double standards. Women are supposed to consider abuse for not being interested in casual sex, strangers sending dick pics or asking for nude photos as normal behaviour from adult males. It would have them believe they are “too fussy” if they are not interested in men 10-25 years older. It tries to label them as pushy, controlling and unreasonable if they have a bar higher than the absolute minimum. Fake female profiles on dating sites and social media are now a multi-million dollar industry, fueling unrealistic male fantasies.

So if you are single, congratulations for believing in your worth and waiting for someone on your level. Everyone deserves someone who adds value and happiness to their lives. The only way to change the broken system is by refusing to play the game. Humans are not replaceable playthings. There are good men out there, looking for a soulmate and a queen to adore. In the meantime, buy the flowers, wear the sexy lingerie, go away for a weekend. While it’s not the same as being in a good relationship, life is too short not to spoil yourself.

(c) The Body Sacred: Embracing the Divine Sensual

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State of the Ethers Pt 2/2: Divine Unions

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This is one of the most exciting and longed-for aspects of the raise in planetary consciousness. Lots of high vibratory relationships will begin this year.

A spiritually awakened person is an anchor and transmitter for higher energies, and helps raise the collective energy. Each awakened person walking the earth makes it incrementally easier for others to awaken. Divine partnerships have an even greater synergy. They embody and radiate the template of higher energy, spiritual union, healthy sexuality, core level trust, respect and psychic closeness. A welcome and timely antidote to the current toxic dating culture.

More evolved intimate relationships are the cornerstone of a more enlightened society. Hence the dark energies have long opposed this, preventing soulmates from meeting and encouraging dysfunction, addiction and fear. They are the forces behind normalisation of porn culture, and objectifying, violent and degrading sexual attitudes. A lot of that was cleared during the solstice upgrade.

These partners have a high level of similar soul energy, and all manner of interesting synchronicities are common. And often a sense of familiarity, of having met before.

I knew your name
I knew your face
Your love and grace
Past and present now embrace
Worlds collide in inner space

Star Sky ~ Two Steps from Hell

Youtube link with lyrics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsi1ivi03sE

Often there will be a sense of knowing someone new is on the way. You may get songs stuck in your head, images of their environment, intuitive glimpses of their appearance or personality. Once you physically meet, there are always all sorts of parallels in your life path – similar life challenges, loving the same obscure band, having the same favourite stripey socks etc.

A quick note on the term twin flame:

I personally don’t use the term twin flame as it has become very abused in the spiritual community, often being used to romanticise playing rescuer, codependent attachment to avoidant partners, obsession with someone not/no longer interested or justifying getting involved with someone married. A spiritual relationship has integrity and respects boundaries and free will.

It also implies that there is only one true soulmate – but what if that person cheats, becomes abusive or has an addiction? The life choices people make affect relationships just as much as destiny/ soul contracts etc. Spiritual adulthood is taking responsibility, how choices affects others, and drawing healthy boundaries when others are out of alignment. As an awakened person in these times, you need to be in full bloom to be in service. The old paradigm of being dragged down whilst making excuses for someone’s poor behaviour has had its time. Look for someone who has chosen to live at their potential.

Thus those persisting in relationships that no longer serve their highest good will be feeling increasingly conflicted and uncomfortable. Even if they are still emotionally attached, their soul knows it’s not the right person.

How to attract a divine partnership

Ahh, the million dollar question. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard of people in the spiritual community bemoaning they can’t find a partner on a similar level and path. The good news is, as individual and the collective energy level raises, the easier it gets. The big boost to the masculine energy mentioned in the first half of this update will ripple outwards and have a big effect in terms – as partners themselves, and as teachers, writers, artists and wayshowers walking the talk. Others are going to see it and be inspired.

Strive to be at your best – body, mind and spirit. Inner work and healing any unhealthy emotional patterns is paramount. Otherwise you may sabotage it if you do meet a person like this. Commitment phobia, drama/pain addiction or unworthiness can cause people to push away the very thing they have yearned for. Have a conscious think about the right sort of person for you – on a soul not an ego level.

The basics of self care, meditation, staying grounded and energy hygiene apply. Think of being a lighthouse in a storm, a shining soul beaming through the darkness. You will get hints and signs, guidance to follow. This doesn’t need to be forced (indeed I’ve seen people so obsessed with an unhealthy partner that they perceive every tiny thing as a sign). Ask for guidance then wait, don’t be fixed on it coming in a certain form. The universe has a marvellous sense of humour when it comes to bringing a soulmate into your awareness.

Your ancestors and guides will be having a giggle over this…

Prepare to be sassed in lots of little ways. Enjoy the ride. Good things are on the horizon for many over the next few months.

(c) The Body Sacred

What is Sacred sexuality?

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Many Westerners are being drawn to a more holistic approach to life in general, and their personal lives are no exceptions. People often have a sense that there is something more, a higher purpose or meaning, that they yearn for, even if they can’t articulate exactly what it is. I personally believe Sacred Sexuality offers the answers many are seeking.
It is the art of bringing the profound spiritual experience and immense physical pleasure into one’s sexual life, and ultimately into all aspects of life. Sex is for most people the most common and easily accessed experience of the divine, and with practise this energy can be harnessed and used constructively.
Like any extraordinary experience, it sets off irrevocable changes…in our outlook on life, and how we feel about ourselves. In the same sense that the true yogic path is far more than just stretching, the traditional teachings of sacred sex were an inclusive spiritual outlook on life, embracing sexuality, the body and the everyday physical experience as a pathway to spiritual evolution. Many indigenous cultures have their own forms of sacred sexuality eg. paganism, Tantra, Taoist teachings. The recurring underlying themes are the synergistic creative force of merging polarised energies and accessing higher consciousness.
It is about recognising the divine in everything, and experiencing and embodying this divinity. Sexuality becomes a dance of physical and spiritual love, of energy and higher consciousness.
Physically the nervous system has to accustom to higher levels of pleasure without overload, resistance or dissociation. Emotionally speaking, this is also true. Hitting ecstatic states involves a deep level of surrender. It is about the experiencing yourself without any labels: paradoxically at the most primal and powerful, yet most vulnerable and open. To share this with another is beautiful, transforming and *VERY* humbling. So even though it’s a positive experience, it can be a bit confronting. People find their early transcendental sexual experiences can unexpectedly throw their relationship dynamics. Interestingly, the people who often have the hardest time are often those who have been quite promiscuous, who on the surface may seem very sexually liberated, but in fact avoid intimacy. This sudden emotional and energetic openness can feel like loss of identity, control or freedom, and it is very easy to project this onto the partner.
Like any spiritual path, facing, accepting and releasing the ego’s needs, wounds and resistances are an inherent part of the journey. Deep emotional healing will take place. You can only get so far if you don’t want to deal with this.
The rewards are immense. Feeling happier with yourself and life. Increased healing, health, energy, vitality, radiance and joy. A whole new level of emotional connection with people (not just sexual partners) becomes possible. Oh yes, and the amazing sex…these are the experiences that leave you energised, tingling and sensitised for days afterwards.

© Embracing the Divine Sensual – the Body Sacred. Feel free to forward this article in its entirety with credit.

Toxic partners: breaking the bonds

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I wanted to follow up the previous article on toxic partners with some ways to clear and cut from these people. This is also a great way to start the new year with a clean slate – and even helps with long gone partners. It is one of the biggest favours we can do for ourselves, emotionally, spiritually and sexually.

Many times over, I have witnessed people blossom and grow as they move on from a toxic relationship. The energy previously caught up in trying to keep the relationship running morphs into an explosion of fun and creativity. A sudden acceleration or change in career, hobbies, haircuts and travel are common. People who have been stressed-out shells of themselves start to glow again.

1. The tricky part: working on yourself

In order to really move on, we need to own and heal whatever in us is grabbing onto this person. Otherwise we will simply recreate the dynamic with someone else.

For example, if someone doesn’t think they are worthy of love, they will get uncomfortable with a healthy loving connection. This can manifest as feeling bored, trapped etc and they will often subconsciously sabotage the relationship. These people are thus often attracted to those who are emotionally unavailable, already in relationships or even toxic.

The subconscious favours familiar patterns, even if they are unpleasant. So a little deep soul searching is required here.

Toxic people tend to be energy vampires and feed off attention, competition and conflict. It reduces a partnership to its lowest possible form, a tit-for-tat power play. These relationships activate our wounds, confirm pessimistic beliefs and have an emotionally addictive quality. The key word is drama. If someone has a pattern of on/ off relationships, says they find nice guys/ girls boring, call conflict passion or they are into make up sex, this is a pretty good indication this sort of dynamic is playing out.

2. The ritual of release:

Do this in front of an open fire or candle.

Write a letter to this person. Write out all your grudges, all the ways you feel you have been wronged. There will likely be anger, and possibly some tears. Be real, get everything off your chest. You may not be ready to forgive them, and that is fine, it may take several clearings. Burn the letter.

Now focus inwards, and find where in your body those emotions are. Visualise them if you can – colour, texture, sensation, memories. Use your power of visualisation to pull them out of your body, even use you hands if it feels right. They are often thick and sticky. An icky sensation, stomach gurgles or burps are quite common when people are clearing this energy. Pull those energy strings or blobs out and cast them into the flame to be transmuted. Continue until you are done. Deep cleansing breaths really help too.

Then visualise the remaining bonds between yourself and this person. It may be one thick cord, or many tiny ones. Gently visualise cutting this cord in whichever way feels right – gently nibbling with scissors, or one fell light saber swoop. See the two ends returning to yourself and the other person, and send a mental message of release and completion. Feel the end being absorbed into you, and your energy boundary sealing over.

Now write a letter to yourself. Write out any ways in which you let this person step on your boundaries, how you let this situation get out of hand.

  • Is there a pattern in common with other people in your life or previous partners?
  • If you met another person like this, what would you do differently?
  • Are there any red flags you would recognise in future?

3. Follow up with any physical action required

People are often resistant to taking these measures because they are so effective.

  • Return possessions
  • Delete messages
  • Delete or block them from your social media so your curiosity won’t get the better of you
  • Reclaim yourself and your space. Perhaps rearrange the furniture, wash the bedding so you can’t smell them on the pillow.
  • If there is something you enjoy that you haven’t gotten around to doing for awhile, this is the perfect time.

For a really toxic entangled relationship, it may take a few rounds of this clearing, and that is fine. It is common to feel some grief and regret over how much time was wasted. Don’t beat yourself up.

4. Reappearances from the ex

Cutting cords to an ex is a profound piece of energy work, and it is uncanny how often that person will pick upon the shift and contact you, so be prepared.

Be wary of people like this trying to reconcile. Toxic people don’t like to feel they have “lost” so they may put on 100% charm, just to suck you back in so they can be the one to discard you. Or they may just want some drama and a fight. If you don’t feed them with an emotional reaction, they might escalate the situation to see if they can trigger you, but if you hold steady they will look for easier prey.

Over the long term toxic exes tend to resurface periodically. If they find themselves bored or horny they go through their contact list, to see who snaps the bait. Don’t be surprised if you get a message out of the blue months  or even years later.

This can be very jolting emotionally, so it may be better just to block them from all forms of access to you.

© Embracing the Divine Sensual – The Body Sacred

This article can be shared in its entirety, with credit to the author.

Shakti calls – are you ready?

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The sensual energy, creativity and emotional connection are all aspects of the Kundalini Shakti, or Shakti, the divine feminine spiritual force. Far more than a mere sexual force, it is the luscious, juicy path of inspiration, discovery, happiness, health and spiritual well-being. It’s your life mojo! It is a forgiving, generous and strong energy and drives us to grow into our potential.
Many women today are disconnected to their Shakti energy – unhappy, unfulfilled, creatively blocked.
They struggle with an energetically toxic world and internalise this as toxic thinking – the need to compete, compare, look perfect, have the perfect life and partner – all external validation to prove they are “good enough”.
The truth is we are all more than good enough.
Even as we are works-in-progress, we are more than good enough.
We just need to reconnect. We need to listen to ourselves, not the “shoulds”. Follow what calls you, question and challenge your fears.
Ah, there’s the fine print: more than good enough demands the best of you, and nothing less. It requires improvement and spiritual growth – there is no place or complacency or victimhood.
We have all seen that woman who has that magnetic something, even if she isn’t what media would tell us is gorgeous.
We have met people that have crafted amazing lives, in big and small ways.
People that have overcome horrendous tragedy or illness and left an amazing legacy. They have all had to push through their fears.
No, some people won’t like it. Those who haven’t stepped into their own power are threatened. There will be snide comments and judgments. Leave them to the mirror of their insecurities.
Be brave enough to celebrate your body, your sexuality, the physical experience. Be brave enough to feel smart, strong beautiful, in all your flaws. Be brave enough to give yourself permission to dream and grow. Find your internal compass, so you are not windswept by a world that tries to tell you you need to by x,y and z to be a success.
This is the gift of Kundalini Shakti. She calls..are you ready
© 2016 ~The Body Sacred: Embracing the Divine Sensual

Healing our relationship with sex is part of evolving consciousness

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Healing emotionally and attaining spiritual adulthood requires that we heal unhealthy sexual beliefs. It allows sex to take a natural, positive part of life – as something both divine and everyday. In fact, in the tantric view everything in life, even the most ordinary, is viewed as inherently divine.

It is well worth taking the time to examine your beliefs about sexuality, relationships, gender roles, what you define as good and bad. Even in people with fairly liberal backgrounds, some of these internal programs may be still holding you back, albeit subtly.

Humans are innately and naturally sexual. As a primal impulse, for procreation, as a yearning for intimacy and to experience a sense of divinity, the sexual drive is present. One cannot be at peace whilst wrestling with guilt or shame about an aspect of one’s own essence. This tends to manifest internally as avoidance/shutdown or obsessive/ addictive behaviours, or alternating between both.

An inner conflict with sexuality will also manifest outwardly. It is no coincidence that the most perpetually conflict ridden societies are repressive. They are more judgmental and controlling of their people’s private lives, and highly suspicious of differing beliefs or lifestyles.

When these belief systems (personal, familial, cultural or religious) are extreme, transgression of the rules is perceived as a betrayal of the entire tribe. The control may be subtle – guilt, shaming and manipulation, using labels such as dirty, impure, bad, unholy, not respectable. In extreme cases, the infringement must be punished and made an example of. Some of these punishments are barbaric and far worse than the original perceived wrongdoing.

Sex and religion got mixed together early in the story of humanity – and we’ve paid a heavy price for it – children are told mere sexual thoughts or masturbation can be enough to invoke the wrath of deities and result in eternal damnation or misfortune.

We have seen this through all times and cultures – from rules of acceptable courtship, sexual conduct, removal or maintenance of body hair, clothing, forced marriage, genital mutilation, homophobia, so called honor killings, blaming victims of rape, slut shaming, stoning of unmarried couples. Historically, females have fared worse, and feminine sexuality was (and is) much more policed.

If someone is truly awakening in their sexuality, they are increasing self awareness and are working through their wounds. It is an emotional and spiritual journey, and truly is a game changer. They are starting to shift beyond the illusion of ego, and of the roles the unawakened world requires people to play. Sex then becomes another aspect of a healthy, positive existence, not as an ego support mechanism in the form of conquest, competition, escape/ distraction, obsession or self validation.

This requires taking responsibility for their actions and beliefs, and a recognition of when others are projecting or attempting to manipulate. They are comfortable with their own boundaries, and respect others. They are centred and powerful, and not triggered by different belief systems. As part of this awakening process many people find they are no longer attracted to toxic relationships. They may distance themselves from an unhealthy or restrictive family dynamic or religion.

www.facebook.com/thebodysacred www.embracingthedivinesensual-thebodysacred.com

© 2013  Embracing the Divine Sensual – The Body Sacred

updated 2015. Feel free to forward or share, in entirety, with credit

 

Lunar Eclipse 4th April 2015 : Light or Darkness? Up to you…

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So everyone’s talking about the Blood Moon – a complete lunar eclipse on the supermoon this Saturday, 4th of April.

A 30 second nutshell version: Eclipses are about endings and beginnings – good and bad ones! All the subconscious stirrings, and outer world issues since last month’s eclipse come to bear fruit. It’s reckoning time – hiding in distractions ain’t going to cut the mustard, kids.

It has a pressure cooker effect of bringing up the bottled up baggage we don’t really want to deal with – old hurts, grievances, sabotaging belief systems. So it can be easy to be triggered and reactive with each other – inadvertantly hitting each other where it hurts most, ending in regrettable conflict. With the intensity happening at present – things may be damaged beyond repair if we buy into the wounded ego. Take a breath before diving into defensive or victim based responses, see the big picture. If we can remain grounded and absorb the lessons it can be a healing time of breakthroughs in understanding within ourselves and between one another.

The energy of the universe will magnify and make it easier to physically manifest what your mind and emotions are preoccupied with. Make a conscious effort to aim for where you want to be, rather than obsessing about and resisting where you are. The choices you make will have big repercussions, so its best to make them from the highest space you can.

Allow yourself some time away from it all – physically or at least metaphorically – to see what is really important. On that note, I’m off for some camping and dancing under the moon – have a great easter..
© 2015 The Body Sacred – Embracing The Divine Sensual

Photo: Fergus Currie – Freeimage

Next Embracing the Divine Sensual Women’s Workshop

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Join us for another exploration into the world of the Shakti – the potent feminine energy present in us all. This workshop will concentrate on techniques to connect to and energise the Kundalini Shakti energy
Women of many ancient cultures have always gathered in circles of sisterhood, to teach, support and share. It is every woman’s birthright to feel alive, sensual, attractive and happy in her body. The pure inner self of every human is innately beautiful, strong and loving. Reconnection with the sacred self, so frequently lost in modern living, is the key to confidence, sensuality and fulfilment – both in the relationship to self and with another.
Women of many cultures have always gathered in circles of sisterhood, to teach, support and share. Embracing the Divine Sensual is a safe, supportive space for women wanting to explore and expand their sensual selves. Sexual techniques will be discussed but no nudity is involved, participation in exercises is optional.
(The next and final workshop for this year will be Sunday 14th December where we will focus on methods to clear old emotional blocks and traumas in the base and sacral chakras)

Next Women’s Workshop: Sunday 14th September Marrickville

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The Body Sacred: Embracing the Divine Sensual

It is every woman’s birthright to feel alive, sensual, attractive and happy in her body. The pure inner self of every human is innately beautiful, strong and loving. Reconnection with the sacred self is the key to confidence, sensuality and fulfillment – both in the relationship to self and with another.

Women of many ancient cultures have always gathered in circles of sisterhood, to teach, support and share. This introductory workshop for women will uses meditation, movement, dance and aspects of sacred sexual practices to reawaken and inspire.

This workshop is the fruition of many years of study and practice – meditation, yoga, esoteric concepts, dance, bodywork, tantra, ritual magic, Taoist practice and martial arts. It was created to share the knowledge and gifts of this path in a down-to-earth, non-judgemental and non-coercive environment.

The next Sydney workshop will be Sunday 14th September, 2- 4:30pm at Marrickville. Cost is $40/$35 including notes.  As numbers are limited and printed notes are supplied, bookings are essential.

blackmoonbellydance@yahoo.com.au

0401 873 881

Sacred Sexuality: The Evolution of Intimacy

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Many Westerners are being drawn to a more holistic approach to life in general, and their personal lives are no exceptions. People often have a sense of something more, a higher purpose or meaning, that they yearn for, even if they can’t articulate exactly what it is. I personally believe Sacred Sexuality offers the answers many are seeking.

It is the art of bringing the profound spiritual experience and immense physical pleasure into one’s sexual life, and ultimately into all aspects of life. Sex is for most people the most common and easily accessed experience of the divine, and with practise this energy can be harnessed and used constructively.  

Like any extraordinary experience, it sets off irrevocable changes…in our outlook on life, and how we feel about ourselves. In the same sense that the true yogic path is far more than just stretching, the traditional teachings of sacred sex were an inclusive spiritual outlook on life, embracing sexuality, the body and the everyday physical experience as a pathway to spiritual evolution. Many indigenous cultures have their own forms of sacred sexuality eg. paganism, Tantra, Taoist teachings. The recurring underlying themes are the synergistic creative force of merging polarised energies and accessing higher consciousness.

It is about recognising the divine in everything, and experiencing and embodying this divinity. Sexuality becomes a dance of physical and spiritual love, of energy and higher consciousness.

Physically the nervous system has to accustom to higher levels of pleasure without overload, resistance or dissociation. Emotionally speaking, this is also true. Hitting ecstatic states involves a deep level of surrender. It is about the experiencing yourself without any labels: paradoxically at the most primal and powerful, yet most vulnerable and open. To share this with another is beautiful, transforming and *VERY* humbling. So even though it’s a positive experience, it can be confronting.  People find transcendental sexual experiences can unexpectedly throw their relationship dynamics. Interestingly, the people who often have the hardest time are those who have been quite promiscuous, who on the surface may seem sexually liberated (and have a lot of ego investment in that label), but in fact are uncomfortable with the deep intimacy. This sudden emotional and energetic openness can feel like loss of identity, control or freedom, and it is very easy to withdraw from the partner.

Like any spiritual path, facing, accepting and releasing the ego’s needs, wounds and resistances are an inherent part of the journey. Deep emotional healing will take place. You can only get so far if you don’t want to deal with this.

The rewards are immense. Feeling happier with yourself and life.  Increased healing, health, energy, vitality, radiance and joy. A whole new level of emotional connection with people (not just sexual partners) becomes possible.  Oh yes, and the amazing sex…these are the experiences that leave you energised, tingling and sensitised for days afterwards.

© Embracing the Divine Sensual – the Body Sacred 2010. Feel free to forward this article in its entirety with credit.